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The Past Has Begun [LP]

by I'm Kingfisher

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    - The Past Has Begun LP (black 12" vinyl)
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1.
Pocket Soul 03:18
Yesterday was all my fault. People are the wilderness. Can't believe I'm still here looking for answers, wherever you go. Yesterday was all night long, buried in a rumbling pace. Do they know I'm already afraid to go? I got so much to live for. I'm back on my feet, but you should know, the wound didn't heal right. Yesterday, all your friends could see how you unveiled my pocket soul, that drowns for you. Yesterday, I found my guy to the ground, to the floor, to the pain, to the course. In my home town, they have another hierarchy of needs. I wound up losing all my money. She sure is my worthy opponent. I can tell she's already afraid to go. Friend of friends, most of the time I don't know whether I'm going up or down. After all years, it feels like I've only started. Yesterday, all the world could see how you found my pocket soul, that drowns for you. I got so much to live for and I'm back on my feet, but you should know, the wound didn't heal right. Yesterday, all your friends could see how you found my pocket soul, that drowns for you.
2.
All of my life I’ve been taking a bite. It’s been complicated. Well, sooner or later you’ve got to choose when to breathe in. Just like the whale that sung too high to be heard, deep down in the lonely, lonely sea. Woke up at 4 AM with the anxiety burning, but after a while we both started to laugh about it. You know it’s real and it turns sheets, and everybody thinks about Christmas. I stood outside waiting to get paid and I was thinking of you. And what's become of us, the king of containment and the peacock. (Go peacock!)
3.
Hey there Billy, with your eyes so blue. Don't inflict me in a firefight in the orphanage. A sudden burst of summer delight made me yearn for the times we never had on the day you lost your wings. I'm gonna pull this thing together, ain't risky being humble when you know you're great. Something appeared in the picture after development was made. I'm gonna leave it on the doorstep, sealed with a crack of lost time. Darling, you should know. When I go, I'll vanish without a sound. It will wake you one morning. Thinking, haven't seen him now for so many days. Who will strum this old guitar when I'm no longer around the coffee filters and stained glass, sentimental movies and millions of notes? My mess minus room. Hey there Billy, with your thighs so high, don't inflict me in a firefight in the orphanage. Listen to this gravelled voice. Experience tells me I'll be there to help on the day you lose your wings.
4.
It doesn’t look like much from here to the untrained eye. Last secret, last resort is, one map of pain, bathed in blood, reading out my life. There’s a town that suits this troubled mind, where daylight can no longer be your help. Damn you, what have I done to my black eyed raven girl? Carving out Eden. It ain’t your job to tell me what I’m not supposed to do. Beaten by feathers. There’s a street for my untimely passion, where names can no longer be your friends. I got my upper genes from him, downer from her, my elevator.
5.
You were right all along. I mean, you were right about everything. The world is a haunted place, this place is about so much more than hunting some lonely fame, stressing over things I could easily do. When your only hope gets outgrown, get ready for the faith. Fair enough, I've already done my share of enjoying the simple values in life. Like the children's atom bomb. I don't know where time will take me. I know, even tiny routines change, except when swallowing the lump the size of Belgium. When you're on your own, you’ve got to carry on to find out all about the backbone of your deeds and give them all the love you got. Because most likely you’ll be fucked up too, probably for a year or even some but I believe in you, kid, although I've lost much hope in myself and I recognize so much in you. That inward mind with a universe to expand. When your only hope gets outgrown you get ready for someone. You were only a few months old. I couldn't rest on the road and I stayed up and made 'Can't Wait for the Future' for you. You, already the social one of us. I always need a certain room for that, waiting for the damn affiliation. When you're on your own, you still got to carry on. It's hard to see you go, but when you do I rest assured, I gave you all the love I could.
6.
Why won’t you come a little closer? Heed the warnings. Step into the sound. Wipe out that frown. Ain’t that the silliest thing you ever heard? How I’m struggling so often with normal. Hungover over happiness. Feeling lightheaded and undone. And you measure the pressure of this little place with its fine taste, stuck on the seasick side of town. Tonight, I gave you yours, because I was tired of giving you mine. Like a stranded politician with a little heartache, it’s all you ever own. Why don’t the writing give me the joy that it used to? I thought that I’d be calmer by now, with only that much left to tell. On the night I gave you yours, while I was sick of giving you mine. My plausible impossible. Are you even you anymore? Try a little bit harder and when you reach the top, I’ll be the funny guy. Your drunken politician. With a little heartache. It’s all you ever own.
7.
It's real and I promised myself I wouldn't do it again. I've seen curtains move at the house where no one lives. Tiptoe around the pain when I get out of bed. Are you keeping track of promises that I never made? I might have destroyed something when I was mad. Some measly coins and dents, is that all you got on me? Dreaming my dreams, setting the tone. I've been chasing you since the day I was born. There ain't no bad reason for feeling bad when you feel bad for a reason. To me, it's been quite the opposite. I've had worse in the ordinary afternoon, in the dead of night, for no obvious reason at all. I've been done wrong. Careful, what would I do with you if I had you? My bad sides take turns to be the real me. Is that all you got? Dreaming my dreams, setting the tone. I got in my blood, it makes my skin age. Tiptoe around the pain when I get out of bed. Are you keeping track of promises that I never made? I might have loved you once, I might have loved you twice, in the dead of night, for no obvious reason at all. I've been treated. Fat chance, since she called me a freak. My biggest loss is that I got used to what I love. Is that all you got on me?
8.
It was a dirty job and no one had to do it, how your language sounds to someone who can’t speak it. Must be terrible. Take a lot of afterthought. That year, it rained all summer long, as to say: "come on, stay a little serious, but don’t take it too seriously". The bandits and my boyhood were a perfect disguise. Then, damn you gravity. When the morning came after all we endured, after all that been said, we both knew it was over. The TV was on. Quit telling me things for the first time and act like it was our old news. At the same time, those days were the best of my life. Now I’m hungry in the worst possible way. Show me how to stand above the rest and the embarrassing things you do when you’re in love. We were laughing at old men with dogs. I was carrying you. It must’ve been a test. It was a dirty job and no one had to do it, how your language sounds to someone who can’t speak it. Must be terrible. The ghost is in the field now. Hit me and my lip won’t move. Loving you was more about rules than play, just a flame that got away. Loving you was more about teeth than skin, it’s true and I could’ve told you. But kissing you was more about skin than teeth. It was a dirty dance across the floor. You know, it ain’t a competition, but it is a race. Inflammation’s a patient beast. But if you turn around I’ll still be there. Apparently never any better than this. I can live with this for the rest of my life. I can live with this for good. And it doesn’t have to be us. But still, can you say hi from time to time? That would help a lot.
9.
I see my bus go up in flames, with the square and crowd, and the first day of autumn is coming. I knew you would be just fine, if I kept fearing the worst, but in my happiness, I guess it just slipped my mind and people explode all the time. I had to call your mother with someone else’s voice, colored by your heavy limbs leaning over the table. You used to be around. Well, it is you, but it isn’t you and though I loved you and it’s the same floral dress and skin, the electricity’s gone and you scare me so much now. Christ and the woman taken in adultery can’t neglect that I felt since I found you, as if all my healthy trails point to suicide. Though I know, for the first time I must find, not take my life. Find, not take my life.
10.
I felt when something broke inside me, didn't know that could happen on pure will. It's hard to measure width in the city. If all goes down the drain, I'll recall this moment as the start of it. Those assumptions, so hard to please. It's that little twitch of your eye, the subtle change of tone that is the biggest blow. Stay indoors, watching the day flow, losing the hearing a little at a time. Gotta run, run, run to my old hobbies. That's what I'm going to do. Even in the good times, I miss the life that never was. Those assumptions, so hard to please. It's that little twitch of your eye, the subtle change of tone that is the biggest blow.
11.
The thing you do, when I'm scared of the brute force's saturation, is still my favorite one. Never got back like before and I think it was decided a long time ago. I'm standing on a rope. Think I want to leave, try again, make it right this time. Welcome to the dust farm. What you want is killing me all my days. The things you do, and it never gets old to give the world a little more feminism. Then you caught me running into this jail. You oughta know, baby, when I'm on the radio everything will be alright. Let us drive into the country. Where do you wanna live? Where do you wanna go? Oh, in the long run, won't you give me a clue what I'm doing? Cause baby, I'm a fallen baby bird the mother bird stopped caring about. When you're in your thirties, you're in the worst time for love. Can't believe these heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy hurdles. Then you... Oh, in the long run, I will drive you insane, girl. Trust me, if it was invented today it would be considered a crime. Half of the time my mind is spinning in no real direction. I should've treated you better and I never knew why I didn't try. 'Cause I never tried. Then you... Oh, in the long run, is nature really that cruel? My mother had her own understanding for deserters. It was written on the door step, said: "welcome with a consequence", and it never gets old to give the world a little more kindness. That's all. Farewell.
12.
Time was flying like a golden plane, don't know where to begin. Summer, suburbs, sound of windows being cleaned. She was the one. I wanted to be like a backflip of her view. Teenage, hoping, can't no longer reach you in dreams. What would you say if I'd knock on your door? Would you reckon me as someone not meant for you at all? I'm still sorting out what to fight or accept, now I'm getting middle-aged. Throbbing, sharp pain, rumbling down the mountainside. Sorry, you got to be who you are. One of us must wait until the others answer. I'm calling. And they say you can't love two at once. The freedom of letting go usually gives me the strength to carry on. You should know I'm much more innocent now. The kind I wish I was before. I was stabbing, stalking, not the way I was raised. Stabbing, stalking, like the speed of cancer close. If I ever meet you again, could you say to me we weren't meant to be at all?
13.
High on the horizon, peaking in spring. I could be everything you want me to be. I've got a big perishment in the making, to the moon or stuck right here to the vine, the panic and the dandelion. If we're going to do this, leave the light on. Take me back where I started, you can thank me then, the video player's in a soothing space. And all the acres I have left behind. So, how come the same decade-old mistakes still haunt my mind from time to time? There's a woman in the shadows leaning over me. She said: "you could be me in this machine dream". I said: "whatever they’re building in there cost me my front tooth". Mind you, there's a floating line at the diamond dreams and the open fields. The past has begun. And all my memories are out there. You were always on my mind. For 32 years and 45 days you'll have to be on your own. They took you away and ruined the soles of my feet. Gonna build that old ship, put it down the line, getting my bags packed as soon as I can and find the holy water, while patiently drifting away. To depart. To run down Emma's stairs. You know the rest.

about

The Swedish singer-songwriter I’m Kingfisher returns with new album The Past Has Begun, the follow-up to the acclaimed 2018 LP Transit which saw him receive some of the strongest reviews of his career while being featured on NPR’s All Songs Considered and KEXP’s Song of the Day, while sharing the stage with the likes of Kevin Morby, Courtney Marie Andrews and Damien Jurado.

One of Scandinavia’s hidden treasures, returned to the country and Americana that originally inspired him to start his artistic career, citing records by Courtney Marie Andrews and Dwight Yoakam especially as two of the main inspirations for The Past Has Begun, while penning some of his strongest work yet. Featuring guest appearances from the likes of Slowgold and Damien Jurado guitarist Josh Gordon, The Past Has Begun is an album about ageing, and the bittersweet nature of memory - romantic yet resigned, hopeful but drenched in melancholy.

credits

released October 9, 2020

Thomas Jonsson - vocals, guitars
Carl Edlom - vocals, guitars, bass, synthesizers, piano, percussion
Amanda Werne - vocals, harmonica ('Children's Atom Bomb')
Vilma Flood - vocals ('Captain, I'm Going Blind', 'The Plausible Impossible')
Josh Gordon - guitar, Mellotron, Mini-moog ('Breakthrough at 42')
Helena Arlock - cello ('If That's All You Got on Me', 'The Biggest Blow')
Ella Blixt - vocals ('Dirty')
Maria Larsson - violin ('Pocket Soul', 'Untimely Passion')
Rebecka Hugosson - clarinet ('The Biggest Blow')
Tove Edlom - vocals ('Mess Minus Room')
Ola Eliasson - flute ('Dirty')

'The Past Has Begun' was recorded in Trunk Studios, Karlstad 2019-2020.
Produced, arranged and engineered by Carl Edlom. Lyrics and music by
Thomas Jonsson. Amanda Werne was recorded by Johannes Mattsson in Gothenburg.
Josh Gordon was recorded at Sonikwire Studio in Irvine, CA with assistant engineering by Alex Bush.
Mastered by Magnus Lindberg at Redmount Studios, Stockholm.

Photo (front cover) : Erich Reichel
Photo (insert sheet): Johan Bergmark
Sleeve layout: Anders Cold

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